Brownie’s Bachelor Party

I spent the weekend in Michigan with the boys for Mark Brown’s bachelor party. Jon was gracious enough to have us over to “Carlson’s Cabana” on beautiful Grand Traverse Bay. I met up with Matt S-H shortly after 5am at O’Hare on Friday morning. We were greeted with Northern Michigan hospitality when our cab driver offered us pot after 3 minutes in cab. A lot of the gang had been in town since Wednesday, so some damage was already done by the time we arrived. The good news was that Mark (aka Brownie and Mud) turned $20 into $1200 at the local casino. Friday was spent relaxing on the water and at the Cabana and engaging in sporting activities like whiffle-ball and the bag toss game Regan and Cohen brought from Chicago. All of this was preparation for the official Olympic games held in the evening, where four teams battled each other in indoor bags, pig hunt, bat-spin relay, and outdoor bags. I didn’t get the final standings from commissioner Lobdell, but I think my team won.

The evening ended very late and some of us had a 7:40am tee time. I wasn’t sure if people could rally, but I got up around 6:30am and everyone who was planning to play rose to the occasion. After scouring the house looking for the players, I found Whitey. He was the second person to leave “the games” after tripping over the garbage his dog, Buddy, got into on the porch. Someone found him passed out between the cars on the driveway. I found him a bloody mess in the morning, but he sprung up immediately. I called T’kindt when I didn’t find him. He was sleeping in his car. Ryan Arnold was down the road at his sister’s condo. Lamar and Charles were also ready and we made it to the course with time to spare. We played the new course at A-ga-ming, which was very nice. By the time we got back, the rest of the fellas were up and already at it. Some of the others were well into their own round of golf on the Playstation. I had a nice siesta on the hammock, which was much-needed.

It was more bags and whiffle balls until the early evening, when the party bus pulled in to take us into town. We made a stop at the Bay View Lounge to say hello to Whitey’s sister and have some drinks and pizza. Then it was off to the Holiday Inn, to party at the world famous Shimmer’s nightclub. Good times. From there, things got a bit disorganized as the group splintered. Half of us headed back to the cabana on the bus. The other half were banned from Shimmer’s shortly after and had a tougher time getting back. I think Carne and Cohen finally got back around 4am. The rest of the evening was a little painful for me. I fell asleep during the third viewing of Kill Bill Vol 2. and woke up around 3:30am, fetal on the couch, with no protection from the adult entertainment blaring in my ear, the fan creating a wind chill, and the mosquitoes attacking me. My sleeping bag was MIA. I had the fleeting thought that I may be getting a little old for this. However, there was talk of making this an annual event. If so, I’m in.

The trip home was not as easy as the trip there. Our flight out of TC was delayed. My theory was that the crew had a late night at Shimmer’s. In any case, we missed our connection in Chicago and spent 11 hours at O’Hare trying to get a flight back to SFO. S-H and I upgraded on the 6pm and convinced Posse to miss his confirmed 5:10pm flight to ride the back of our bus (a 747 no less). We weren’t wheels-up until 9:30pm because United couldn’t find their 747. Disaster.

Quick stats:

  • Number of flights to get to TC: 3
  • Number of T-Shirt versions Regan made: 3
  • Number of T-Shirt versions suitable to wear around girlfriend/wife unit: 1
  • Amount of money swallowed by Brownie in the first round of pig hunt: $0.25
  • Amount of change dispensed: TBD
  • Number of bean bags tossed during Mudfest: 8372
  • Number of whiffle balls and frisbees retrieved by Rowan’s dog, Daisy: 948
  • Number of whiffle balls and frisbees Whitey’s dog, Buddy, was able to steal from Daisy: 0
  • Number of TC baby sitters who made some serious overtime on Saturday Night: 2
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